Recent Check-ins

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

Abraham Lincoln

Procrastination is addiction. It seduces us into thinking that our business is progress. That checking items off a list is equal to getting things done. That any action is the same as doing what we must. It allows us to keep telling people we are too busy, too overwhelmed, to get our tasks done when we are the ones putting things on our plate without clearing the items we are avoiding. We think it gives us more clarity “take care of this little stuff first, so we can tackle the big one” but do we really get there? Or do we find ourselves one more day behind on that project, one more day that we haven’t called that person to hold a hard conversation, and one more day of stress about it all. That stress piles up, and we look for small mercies in small actions. Rinse and repeat.

We have discussed making time for reflection and for systemizing your life. Batching, Planning, Communication. We have discussed the importance of doing the work – Action, Progress, Attitude and Clarity. We know what we need to do, or what progress hangs on our actions, but still we find ourselves overwhelmed to the point of inaction when we look at the items in our inbox, our checklist, our piles of work, and we become weak. This weakness, and a natural instinct to avoid pain, allows this cycle to persist. The harder you try to fill this hole in your soul with the wrong material, the deeper it gets.

If you want to procrastinate on anything, make it this – take a specific amount of time to think of the three biggest stressors in your life and one action you can take to make a step in all of them. This will take you less than 15 minutes. Take the next 15 minutes to get a cup of coffee, take a walk, and clear your head.

Then, do those three things.

This should take you less than an hour. If it goes horribly wrong, you will have wasted an hour and a half and made three significant steps towards solving your biggest challenges. If it goes even slightly well, you will have released a dam of resistance and stress that could return the flow you need to get through these. “I need time to think about this” is a common crutch. “I don’t know what to do” is another, usually fed by a lack of self-esteem or an abundance of self-doubt. But think – you have made it through 100% of your toughest moments until now – do you really think this is the thing that will undo you? You are capable and have reason, or you wouldn’t have been put in a position to have this challenge. Act now – you will figure it out.

As George S. Patton is quoted as saying, “A good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later.” You may make a mistake, but that is always a risk (one that sitting on your hands is unlikely to avoid) and is action (even if you have to correct and re-evaluate as you go) really any worse than doing nothing?

Procrastination is also an incredibly arrogant move to make, as if you will somehow have more time to solve this, or as if you will even have more days left. “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” Pablo Picasso states. If you know you need to get it done, get it done.

Thanks for checking in,

DPM

“Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but they don’t quit.”

Conrad Hilton

Sometimes the answers that we are looking for are the things looking us straight in the face. Often times they are also the hardest things to do.

“Don’t do anything you are paying someone to do”

This advice came from a mentor and friend that was coaching me through the challenges I found in the first year of my first General Manager position. At first, this advice seemed to go against my general practice and work ethic as it related to my team. If I know I have the experience and the know-how, why wouldn’t I make the effort to assist or down-right complete a project in my operation?

The first reason this applies, and that it took me too long to learn, is that I simply do not have the hours in a day to accomplish everything in my operation. The number of tasks I find on my plate can vary, but the first tool in delegation is to identify what is important, and what only I can (or should) complete. The difficulty in a new position, is that I see the tasks I am familiar with, and want to participate in, but they are meshed with the tasks that only I can control.

In addition to this, by swooping in to finish a project, or to take it out of the hands of a direct report, I am unintentionally robbing them of the learning they can receive by doing the task. By not doing every task, you are in fact empowering the people you work with to learn, explore, and try new things. Stepping in and taking the task yourself limits the growth of the person you specifically hired to do the job. At best, this just causes them to not try as hard in these areas and stagnate, and at worst, it can sow seeds of mistrust and disenfranchisement. 

An important caveat does need to be made – I strive to never do a job for someone (even if I see that they are headed for disaster) unless it meets two specific criteria – the company could suffer unreasonable harm from their actions (think of liability or horrible PR) or they specifically ask for my assistance. 

It’s as important to allow others to take on new tasks as it is to let them fail sometimes while performing them. Each failure is a learning moment, so as long as the impact is not irreversible or detrimental to the operation, let them make the mistake so you can coach them later. They will learn to identify the important stages of the task or project, as well as identify when they need to ask for assistance.

Whenever I am asked to help with a project, no matter how small, the answer is “yes”. My primary objective is to support and coach my team so they can take the actions necessary to achieve our larger company goals. The day I am too good to pick up a broom because the Housekeeping Manager asks me to assist, should be the last day I have my position. That doesn’t mean that I sweep the lobby if it looks dirty – I notify the Housekeeping Manager that the area needs attention, and they determine how to address it (although it’s still very hard for me to not pick up small items as I walk the property. almost all GM’s I know are “pickers”).

Communicating clearly is essential to delegation, but once that is complete, your involvement should be to offer coaching through the task, reviewing the work or performance, and always being willing and prepared to assist whenever you are asked. Internally, focus on the fact that you are empowering and teaching your team by giving them these tasks, and remind yourself that the perfect is the enemy of the good. You will find that the work gets finished, and the end results are more freedom to focus on the most important things on your plate.

Thanks for checking in,

DPM

“What do you do for a living’ is a complicated question / Since ‘for a living’ and ‘for money’ aren’t the same thing”

Rob Carney, The Book of Sharks

Work/Life Balance became a major talking point in self-help and time management circles *around five years ago. It quickly invaded the regular speech of corporate executives and disgruntled workers alike – and this makes sense – the challenge of balancing the multitude of daily duties, to our families, to our co-workers and bosses, to ourselves, is not a new challenge. In fact, *people have been trying to find novel ways to fix this as long as we have had work.

The problem with focusing on the balance, is that we separate what we call “work” and what we call “life” as if they do not constantly and unavoidably overlap. We think that by walking delicately between these two disparate arenas we can find true peace and balance. We all need to eat, to pay our bills and ensure we have what we need, but in very few cases the root needs of us as human beings cannot be purchased for money, and many of the needs that can are cheap enough to come by. You can fill needs without touching your desires to pursue. We create lists and actions and schedule breaks or vacations. We miss our marks and create new anxieties. We compare ourselves to other people to avoid action or mourn the things we do not have, without really looking at the demands our needs and desires put on our limited time and resources.

The binary view of work also has a problem with giving us all we need – is a “life” without “work” much of a life? Is “work” productive if the only reason you do it is to “live”? You’ve probably heard the phrase, never uttered with admiration, that someone “never had to work a day in their life” – showing how aimless and riddled with pitfalls a life of luxury, free of the rigors of toil does not benefit a person or our society. Otherwise, how many broken and sad families have been created by those that work themselves to death* or put so much of their personal ego* into their careers that they are unable to suffer losing it?

The challenge with focusing on Work/Life balance, is that it often misses the point. It says “take more vacation” when you are worried about paying rent. It says “you are stressed at work, and the only solution is to do more “life” when really you need to look at what your emotions are telling you about you relationship with your boss or your view of your employment. You need clarity in purpose before you can know how to balance your actions. 

I re-frame this as an Earn/Spend balance – find the things you can do that earn you the resources you need – time, money, relationships, trust – and know how you want to spend these items, by giving them to other people. There will be trade-offs. You cannot expect to buy a brand new car but not have to earn the money for the purchase. You cannot expect to spend all your days at home playing video games and accomplish what is needed to climb a corporate ladder into prestigious position. Is having a huge bank account more important than a good relationship with your partner? Is having drinks with your friends every night more important than owning a home? There are *better answers to these questions, but there are no wrong answers.

You have to decide what you really want, and then work to get as much of it as you can, by whatever means you have. This is not an area where credit is applied – you cannot spend more than you have earned, despite what you desire. So spend wisely.

Thanks for checking in,

DPM