“What do you do for a living’ is a complicated question / Since ‘for a living’ and ‘for money’ aren’t the same thing”
Rob Carney, The Book of Sharks
Work/Life Balance became a major talking point in self-help and time management circles *around five years ago. It quickly invaded the regular speech of corporate executives and disgruntled workers alike – and this makes sense – the challenge of balancing the multitude of daily duties, to our families, to our co-workers and bosses, to ourselves, is not a new challenge. In fact, *people have been trying to find novel ways to fix this as long as we have had work.
The problem with focusing on the balance, is that we separate what we call “work” and what we call “life” as if they do not constantly and unavoidably overlap. We think that by walking delicately between these two disparate arenas we can find true peace and balance. We all need to eat, to pay our bills and ensure we have what we need, but in very few cases the root needs of us as human beings cannot be purchased for money, and many of the needs that can are cheap enough to come by. You can fill needs without touching your desires to pursue. We create lists and actions and schedule breaks or vacations. We miss our marks and create new anxieties. We compare ourselves to other people to avoid action or mourn the things we do not have, without really looking at the demands our needs and desires put on our limited time and resources.
The binary view of work also has a problem with giving us all we need – is a “life” without “work” much of a life? Is “work” productive if the only reason you do it is to “live”? You’ve probably heard the phrase, never uttered with admiration, that someone “never had to work a day in their life” – showing how aimless and riddled with pitfalls a life of luxury, free of the rigors of toil does not benefit a person or our society. Otherwise, how many broken and sad families have been created by those that work themselves to death* or put so much of their personal ego* into their careers that they are unable to suffer losing it?
The challenge with focusing on Work/Life balance, is that it often misses the point. It says “take more vacation” when you are worried about paying rent. It says “you are stressed at work, and the only solution is to do more “life” when really you need to look at what your emotions are telling you about you relationship with your boss or your view of your employment. You need clarity in purpose before you can know how to balance your actions.
I re-frame this as an Earn/Spend balance – find the things you can do that earn you the resources you need – time, money, relationships, trust – and know how you want to spend these items, by giving them to other people. There will be trade-offs. You cannot expect to buy a brand new car but not have to earn the money for the purchase. You cannot expect to spend all your days at home playing video games and accomplish what is needed to climb a corporate ladder into prestigious position. Is having a huge bank account more important than a good relationship with your partner? Is having drinks with your friends every night more important than owning a home? There are *better answers to these questions, but there are no wrong answers.
You have to decide what you really want, and then work to get as much of it as you can, by whatever means you have. This is not an area where credit is applied – you cannot spend more than you have earned, despite what you desire. So spend wisely.
Thanks for checking in,
DPM